Last night at home group we studied Matthew 26:47-68; 27:11-26. There were a lot of things that struck me, but I'll restrict myself to the one that hit me closest to home.
Peter had just told Jesus that he would follow Him absolutely, even to death. He's very stubborn about following through on that. When the soldiers come to take Jesus away, Peter is right there to give His own life protecting Jesus. Peter draws his sword and attacks against overwhelming odds. He is truly putting his heart into it. Then the response comes, not from the enemy soldiers, but from Jesus, "Put your sword back in its place, for all who draw the sword will die by the sword." That rebuke must have really hurt. It was an absolutely correct rebuke, but it led to Peter losing some of his passion. Just a short time later you see an entirely different Peter deny Jesus three times. He no longer has the conviction to stand with Jesus to his own death.
Here's why this really hit home for me. Towards the end of LAUP I was confronted with the fact that when I had tried to help a specific team member, I really hadn't been all that helpful. In fact, I had hurt them substancially through my actions. It would have been one thing for me to realize I was ineffective, but it was entirely another thing to realize I had caused harm while pouring myself out trying to help. My response was the same as Peter's: I gave up. I believed the lie that it was better to stop trying to love, because at least then I wouldn't hurt anyone. Fortunately I was able to confess this to my team (eventually) and receive God's healing.
Seeing that Peter fell into the same trap helped me come to a greater understanding of my own failures, as well as receive more healing. God is good.
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