Monday, February 28, 2005
Another Blog
Jen, an amazing woman on the Word Made Flesh team to Nepal. Their team will be with us in Kolkata until Friday, when they will leave for three weeks in Sri Lanka, and then the remainder of their four months in Nepal. You can find a link to her blog with my other blog links.
Letting My Heart Break
In downtown Kolkata there is a road I walk down nearly every day. Along the sidewalk there are many merchants, some beggars, and always a steady flow of people. Of at the side of the road, just before the subway entrance there is a man overlooked and forgotten by this world. Unlike many beggars, he won't follow you for a block or more asking for money. He won't even hold out his hand, or rather he can't. He doesn't have any arms. All he does is lay face down on a thin blanket waving an 8 inch stump that should be a left arm. Every day when I see him I look away and speed up my pace to get past him quickly. Like the rest of this city, I want to forget him and pretend he doesn't exist. The "generous" people will throw a rupee or two on the blanket next to him. I don't even know what good that does. As far as I can tell, he cannot get himself up off of the ground. Certainly he cannot pick up the coins save perhaps in his mouth. Still, who am I to criticize when I will do nothing for him.
Yesterday at Church the reality of my hard heart hit me. I realized that I was too scared and selfish to let my heart break for him or any other beggar on the street. It wasn't a pleasant reality, but that's what I saw. After Church I got out my journal and wrote down my commitment: I would try to love him. I had no idea how, or if I would even succeed. All I knew was that the way to a softer heart was to start by letting my heart break for this one man.
On my way home that afternoon I made sure to walk the route that went by him. As I approached the area I hoped that he wouldn't be there, that I would have an excuse not to love him. Fortunately my heart of stone did not have its wish. As always, he was there. I walked up to him, bent down, and spoke a Bengali greeting, one of the few things I know how to say. I quickly discovered that to be the limit of our ability to converse. I asked a passing Indian man if he knew English, and then to help translate. I asked if I could get him some food, and he said he would love to eat anything. I went back up the street and bought a 7 rupee egg roll. I returned and crouched while hand feeding him.
When I was done I said goodbye, stood up, and got quite a surprise. There was a crowd of at least thirty Indians (probably more) surrounding me and watching. All eyes were on me. I didn't know what to do, so I just walked around the crowd to go to the subway station. One man came up to me and said sometime along the lines of "You did an excellent job." I thanked him, talked with him for a bit, and then caught a train home. Although simple and few, his words really touched me. Through him I heard Jesus speak to me, "Well done good and faithful servant." It wasn't that I had done any great deed. Rather, I had simply been willing to let my heart break for this man and out of that I gave a simple gift of love. Although God used me to bless this man, I was also truly blessed to serve him.
Please pray for this man. Pray for me as I continue learning how to love him. I cannot let his silent cry for help and for love go unanswered. Also pray for me and for the entire team that we would learn to love all of the poor we encounter on the streets of Kolkata.
Yesterday at Church the reality of my hard heart hit me. I realized that I was too scared and selfish to let my heart break for him or any other beggar on the street. It wasn't a pleasant reality, but that's what I saw. After Church I got out my journal and wrote down my commitment: I would try to love him. I had no idea how, or if I would even succeed. All I knew was that the way to a softer heart was to start by letting my heart break for this one man.
On my way home that afternoon I made sure to walk the route that went by him. As I approached the area I hoped that he wouldn't be there, that I would have an excuse not to love him. Fortunately my heart of stone did not have its wish. As always, he was there. I walked up to him, bent down, and spoke a Bengali greeting, one of the few things I know how to say. I quickly discovered that to be the limit of our ability to converse. I asked a passing Indian man if he knew English, and then to help translate. I asked if I could get him some food, and he said he would love to eat anything. I went back up the street and bought a 7 rupee egg roll. I returned and crouched while hand feeding him.
When I was done I said goodbye, stood up, and got quite a surprise. There was a crowd of at least thirty Indians (probably more) surrounding me and watching. All eyes were on me. I didn't know what to do, so I just walked around the crowd to go to the subway station. One man came up to me and said sometime along the lines of "You did an excellent job." I thanked him, talked with him for a bit, and then caught a train home. Although simple and few, his words really touched me. Through him I heard Jesus speak to me, "Well done good and faithful servant." It wasn't that I had done any great deed. Rather, I had simply been willing to let my heart break for this man and out of that I gave a simple gift of love. Although God used me to bless this man, I was also truly blessed to serve him.
Please pray for this man. Pray for me as I continue learning how to love him. I cannot let his silent cry for help and for love go unanswered. Also pray for me and for the entire team that we would learn to love all of the poor we encounter on the streets of Kolkata.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Wonderful People
There are still many aspects of Kolkata that are hard and I don't want to deal with. Learning to love this City is no easy task. I have, however, found that Kolkata has some of the nicest people I've ever met. It seems like there are always people around that are interested in who I am, where I came from, and why I'm here. It isn't in a suspicious of me sort of way either. They seem very genuinely interested in me. Many times struggling to communicate with a non-English speaking merchant another man will overhear and stop to help translate. People have helped me to find things or catch the right buses. Heck, I wouldn't have even found this internet cafe without the help of a man walking by that started up a conversation with me. Sure there are some bad apples, but as a whole, I'm really beginning to love the Indian people.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Slowing Down
As a fast paced, efficiency-minded American, Kolkata has a lot to teach me about slowing down. I am already discovering just how important of a lesson this will be for me. I hope it is a lesson I can cling to when I return to the United States. Certainly while I am here, my ability to slow down will greatly enhance my ability to process what I am going through, as well as keep myself centered on Jesus.
A few ways that I've noticed slowing down as part of my experience:
I've also been noticing a weird dynamic about time in myself. I hate rushing other people because I know it can stress them out or can be flat out rude. I also hate being late when someone has set a specific time for something. This is even worse when the person makes a point of telling me that they appreciate promptness, as is the case with our team leader, Kristin. The worst situation is when I'm trying to get a group I'm part of somewhere on time. I feel bad if we're late and I feel bad if I rush them. In the end I usually just stress myself out without changing much of anything.
Please pray that I (and the team) would be learn to slow down and take life at a reasonable pace. You might even consider praying about that for yourself. I'm beginning to think that just about every American I know rushes through life at least a little too fast.
A few ways that I've noticed slowing down as part of my experience:
- There is an afternoon nap time when many shops close down for about three hours.
- I received strong encouragement to take a break in the chapel during my first day at Kalighat. This meant not spending as much time being "productive."
- People start showing up for a "10am" Church service at about 10:20am.
- When I arrived for my first day at Nabo Jibon, I was about 45 minutes late. In my head I was racing to start working as quickly as possible. The brother that greeted me directed me to go upstairs and start with a cup of tea.
- During our orientation with the Missionaries of Charity, they told us that we should take days off whenever we need the extra rest.
I've also been noticing a weird dynamic about time in myself. I hate rushing other people because I know it can stress them out or can be flat out rude. I also hate being late when someone has set a specific time for something. This is even worse when the person makes a point of telling me that they appreciate promptness, as is the case with our team leader, Kristin. The worst situation is when I'm trying to get a group I'm part of somewhere on time. I feel bad if we're late and I feel bad if I rush them. In the end I usually just stress myself out without changing much of anything.
Please pray that I (and the team) would be learn to slow down and take life at a reasonable pace. You might even consider praying about that for yourself. I'm beginning to think that just about every American I know rushes through life at least a little too fast.
Nabo Jibon
I've spent the past two mornings at a home called Nabo Jibon. Thus far it has been a really great place for me. It is run by the Missionaries of Charity Brothers and is a home for boys and men. The boys in the home are all handicapped. The men in the home are all very sick. They are divided up into two separate wards. One is specifically for men suffering from tuberculosis. The other is a general ward for men dying (or at least very sick) with other illnesses.
I spent the entire first day with the boys. They are quite a challenge. Even if I did know Bengali, it wouldn't help with most of them. I spent time helping some of the boys walk around, as well as some time pushing them in swings. After feeding them lunch, we put the boys to sleep for an afternoon nap. I spent about 15 minutes stopping one kid from reaching over and grabbing the kid next to him. The next kid over was already in tears, and the grabber just wasn't giving up. I was very relieved when he finally stopped. Even moreso than Kalighat, working with these boys makes me feel like I don't know how to do anything to help.
Today I spent most of my time in the tuberculosis ward. I just wandered in and started trying to talk with some of the men. Unfortunately none of them spoke much English, and I don't speak any Bengali or Hindi. We confused each other a lot with gesturing and use of the few words we knew. At some point one of the brothers walked through and helped translate a little bit for us. Through him, I asked them to teach me some Bengali. One of the men seemed pretty excited about that idea, but insisted on teaching me Hindi since it is a more common language for India as a whole (and probably his primary language). He taught me how to count to ten, the names for the partial rupee coins, and a few other things. I've probably forgotten most of it already, but we both enjoyed it. Also, it should help me learn to speak and listen for some of the non-English sounds that Indian languages use. I'm definitely looking forward to starting to speak more Bengali. Our first lesson is on Tuesday and we will have them twice each week for 90 minutes each.
Unlike Kalighat, many of the volunteers and brothers at Nabo Jibon are native to India. Most of them speak at least enough English to carry on a conversation. I have been very blessed to talk with them and just learn more about India from them. Several of them come from other large cities in India and apparently Kolkata is poorer, dirtier, and more crowded than any of their cities. It is somewhat of a relief to me that not everywhere in India is as bad as Kolkata in those ways. I'm really starting to love a lot of the values that I find in the Indian people. In many ways, they are some of the nicest strangers I have ever met (And that applies outside Nabo Jibon). Many of them are also very excited to learn about America from me. One of them even wants me to teach him to talk with an American accent. I have no idea how to teach something like that.
Another thing I'm noticing is that even though the Missionaries of Charity homes are Catholic homes, many of the volunteers are not Christian. One of the men I talked to quite a bit at Nabo Jibon is Hindu. He read a book about Mother Teresa and was so inspired by her love for the poor that he came to spend three months volunteering in the Missionary of Charity homes. The legacy for loving the poor that Mother Teresa left behind is truly inspirational to me.
I spent the entire first day with the boys. They are quite a challenge. Even if I did know Bengali, it wouldn't help with most of them. I spent time helping some of the boys walk around, as well as some time pushing them in swings. After feeding them lunch, we put the boys to sleep for an afternoon nap. I spent about 15 minutes stopping one kid from reaching over and grabbing the kid next to him. The next kid over was already in tears, and the grabber just wasn't giving up. I was very relieved when he finally stopped. Even moreso than Kalighat, working with these boys makes me feel like I don't know how to do anything to help.
Today I spent most of my time in the tuberculosis ward. I just wandered in and started trying to talk with some of the men. Unfortunately none of them spoke much English, and I don't speak any Bengali or Hindi. We confused each other a lot with gesturing and use of the few words we knew. At some point one of the brothers walked through and helped translate a little bit for us. Through him, I asked them to teach me some Bengali. One of the men seemed pretty excited about that idea, but insisted on teaching me Hindi since it is a more common language for India as a whole (and probably his primary language). He taught me how to count to ten, the names for the partial rupee coins, and a few other things. I've probably forgotten most of it already, but we both enjoyed it. Also, it should help me learn to speak and listen for some of the non-English sounds that Indian languages use. I'm definitely looking forward to starting to speak more Bengali. Our first lesson is on Tuesday and we will have them twice each week for 90 minutes each.
Unlike Kalighat, many of the volunteers and brothers at Nabo Jibon are native to India. Most of them speak at least enough English to carry on a conversation. I have been very blessed to talk with them and just learn more about India from them. Several of them come from other large cities in India and apparently Kolkata is poorer, dirtier, and more crowded than any of their cities. It is somewhat of a relief to me that not everywhere in India is as bad as Kolkata in those ways. I'm really starting to love a lot of the values that I find in the Indian people. In many ways, they are some of the nicest strangers I have ever met (And that applies outside Nabo Jibon). Many of them are also very excited to learn about America from me. One of them even wants me to teach him to talk with an American accent. I have no idea how to teach something like that.
Another thing I'm noticing is that even though the Missionaries of Charity homes are Catholic homes, many of the volunteers are not Christian. One of the men I talked to quite a bit at Nabo Jibon is Hindu. He read a book about Mother Teresa and was so inspired by her love for the poor that he came to spend three months volunteering in the Missionary of Charity homes. The legacy for loving the poor that Mother Teresa left behind is truly inspirational to me.
Conclusion of Stories
Last night we finished up with everyone sharing their life stories. I'm not going to share the details of the stories, but I will say that I have never been so blessed by people being so honest about their broken lives. I love my team so much!
Friday, February 25, 2005
First Book
Our team will be reading and discussing many books while we are here. The first one will be Can You Drink the Cup. If I get around to it I'll post some reflections about it (No promises though). I just figured I'd let you all know in case you're interested in knowing what we're studying.
Life in Kolkata
I'm just going to talk about some of the constant realities of living here. Some are the good things, others are less so...
First of all, there isn't much in the way of temperature control in most places. A few restaurants have air conditioning, but usually a fan is the best case scenario. I don't think I've seen any water facets with anything more than a flow control knob. Fortunately the temperature isn't too hot yet. It's probably in the 80's during the day, maybe hitting highs a bit into the 90's. I'm told that by May I can expect some 120 degree days. Still, it's warm enough that a nice cold glass of anything will usually hit the spot. Unfortunately, ice basically doesn't exist, and a "cold" soda is generally cool at best.
By the end of most days I feel kind of gross. It's a combination of sweating and living in a very dirty city. I had a bit of a shock the first time I blew my nose. The stuff that came out was a dark brown. Apparently that is normal here because of all the pollution. Even natives won't drink the water straight out of the facets, although it is good enough for showering. For drinking water we have to take a bucket out to a pump, and then put that through a filter. I thought we would have to boil it, but apparently the pump water is clean enough that it just needs to be filtered.
Going to the bathroom is different. Although there are western style toilets in some places, they aren't everywhere (The guys apartment for instance). Instead we have squatty potties. They are basically just bowls with a hole at the bottom set into the floor. There are places for your feet on either side. The rest is in the name. You squat over it and let stuff drop. I've only had to use it a few times so far, but I already like the system. Sure it's awkward and I don't yet have great balance for it, but since I'm spread a lot wider, it leaves almost nothing behind... which is good since they don't provide you with toilet paper in India.
The currency in India is the Rupee. I'm trying to learn to think in Rupees, but I can't help doing the conversions back into American dollars. The current exchange rate is about 43 rupees to the dollar. Here's a few prices to give you a feel for how cheap stuff is here:
So yeah, stuff is ultra-cheap here. I have trouble understanding how this is even possible. Because of the cheap prices, our team ends up eating out a lot. I think that the labor aspect is really cheap, so it isn't like we're paying much extra compared to cooking it ourselves. Plus we get authentic Indian food which is really good.
As Americans, people are constantly staring at us. I don't think they are trying to be rude, it's just pretty unusually to see so many white people. Still, it's pretty hard to get used to. I have never felt so conscious about being white. Yesterday a bunch of us were playing ultimate Frisbee out on some public field. We drew a sizable crowd of Indians that just wanted to watch.
Hmmm... I think that'll do it for now. Tomorrow I'll probably post a bit about Nibo Jibon. I had my first day there today, but don't feel like I saw enough of it yet to start writing about it.
First of all, there isn't much in the way of temperature control in most places. A few restaurants have air conditioning, but usually a fan is the best case scenario. I don't think I've seen any water facets with anything more than a flow control knob. Fortunately the temperature isn't too hot yet. It's probably in the 80's during the day, maybe hitting highs a bit into the 90's. I'm told that by May I can expect some 120 degree days. Still, it's warm enough that a nice cold glass of anything will usually hit the spot. Unfortunately, ice basically doesn't exist, and a "cold" soda is generally cool at best.
By the end of most days I feel kind of gross. It's a combination of sweating and living in a very dirty city. I had a bit of a shock the first time I blew my nose. The stuff that came out was a dark brown. Apparently that is normal here because of all the pollution. Even natives won't drink the water straight out of the facets, although it is good enough for showering. For drinking water we have to take a bucket out to a pump, and then put that through a filter. I thought we would have to boil it, but apparently the pump water is clean enough that it just needs to be filtered.
Going to the bathroom is different. Although there are western style toilets in some places, they aren't everywhere (The guys apartment for instance). Instead we have squatty potties. They are basically just bowls with a hole at the bottom set into the floor. There are places for your feet on either side. The rest is in the name. You squat over it and let stuff drop. I've only had to use it a few times so far, but I already like the system. Sure it's awkward and I don't yet have great balance for it, but since I'm spread a lot wider, it leaves almost nothing behind... which is good since they don't provide you with toilet paper in India.
The currency in India is the Rupee. I'm trying to learn to think in Rupees, but I can't help doing the conversions back into American dollars. The current exchange rate is about 43 rupees to the dollar. Here's a few prices to give you a feel for how cheap stuff is here:
- 15 minute taxi ride: 20 rupees
- Meal at a sit down restaurant: 30 - 80 rupees
- Bus ride: 4.5 rupees
- Cup of cha (Bengali word for tea): 2 rupees
- Burrito size egg roll at a street-side stand: 7 rupees
- Egg chow mien at the same stand: 10 rupees
So yeah, stuff is ultra-cheap here. I have trouble understanding how this is even possible. Because of the cheap prices, our team ends up eating out a lot. I think that the labor aspect is really cheap, so it isn't like we're paying much extra compared to cooking it ourselves. Plus we get authentic Indian food which is really good.
As Americans, people are constantly staring at us. I don't think they are trying to be rude, it's just pretty unusually to see so many white people. Still, it's pretty hard to get used to. I have never felt so conscious about being white. Yesterday a bunch of us were playing ultimate Frisbee out on some public field. We drew a sizable crowd of Indians that just wanted to watch.
Hmmm... I think that'll do it for now. Tomorrow I'll probably post a bit about Nibo Jibon. I had my first day there today, but don't feel like I saw enough of it yet to start writing about it.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Stories
To help us get to know each other more intimately, we have started telling our life stories to the group. It started on Monday night with the three Word Made Flesh staff telling their stories. We continued last night with four stories from servant team members. We had each signed up for slots, so it wasn't a surprise who was going when. I started the evening off. I had taken some time that morning to journal two pages of bullet points to help organize my thoughts. In sharing, I was able to share some of the most broken, shameful details of my life. There were several things in there that I had never shared before, and now I was in a room with 14 other people that I have known for less than a week.
When I finished they clapped for me. Two people quickly volunteered to pray for me. We all held hands during the prayer. I started to weep as they prayed for me. I felt such an incredible love in the room. The woman directly on my right was one of the ones praying for me. She will be sharing on Friday night and told me that my openness really encouraged her to be open when she tells her story. I think it is one of the mysteries of Christian community that the more broken you are able to be with each other, the more you are able to share God's love with each other.
Please pray that as we continue our stories tonight and tomorrow night we would be able to grow as a broken, honest, and supportive community rooted in the love of Christ.
When I finished they clapped for me. Two people quickly volunteered to pray for me. We all held hands during the prayer. I started to weep as they prayed for me. I felt such an incredible love in the room. The woman directly on my right was one of the ones praying for me. She will be sharing on Friday night and told me that my openness really encouraged her to be open when she tells her story. I think it is one of the mysteries of Christian community that the more broken you are able to be with each other, the more you are able to share God's love with each other.
Please pray that as we continue our stories tonight and tomorrow night we would be able to grow as a broken, honest, and supportive community rooted in the love of Christ.
Kalighat Revisited
Sorry about the no post yesterday. Believe me, whenever I fail to post it will not be because I lack things to share, it will only be because I lacked a trip to an internet cafe. I really love all of your comments, emails, and just knowing that you enjoy reading my blog. I feel so loved by all of you!
Our team has been to Kalighat three times now. Today is our day off, and tomorrow we will start going to the other homes. During our second day there (Tuesday), I was pretty removed emotionally. I held some hands, tried to talk with some of the patients that knew bits of English, and probably did a few other random things. My heart just wasn't there though. I was absolutely emotionally exhausted.
Yesterday (Wednesday) was better. We went for the shorter afternoon shift this time. Our team had taken the morning off, so I had taken some much needed time with God and was emotionally refreshed going into the afternoon. I spent time holding hands, giving massages, and talking with a few patients. Around dinner time I spoon fed a man who lacked the strength to feed himself. Toward the end of the day, I saw one of the men who spoke enough English to converse with. Rather than laying in bed, someone had put him in a wheel chair and moved him to the entrance of the building. I could see such joy in his eyes as he looked out onto the frantic life of the street. I found out that he has been in the home for about a year now (most are there for three months or less) and his condition has actually improved during his time there. Through him, I saw hope and joy in the midst of the physical suffering around me. It was a gift from God to remove my blindness, even if only a little bit, so that I could experience this man's joy.
Our team has been to Kalighat three times now. Today is our day off, and tomorrow we will start going to the other homes. During our second day there (Tuesday), I was pretty removed emotionally. I held some hands, tried to talk with some of the patients that knew bits of English, and probably did a few other random things. My heart just wasn't there though. I was absolutely emotionally exhausted.
Yesterday (Wednesday) was better. We went for the shorter afternoon shift this time. Our team had taken the morning off, so I had taken some much needed time with God and was emotionally refreshed going into the afternoon. I spent time holding hands, giving massages, and talking with a few patients. Around dinner time I spoon fed a man who lacked the strength to feed himself. Toward the end of the day, I saw one of the men who spoke enough English to converse with. Rather than laying in bed, someone had put him in a wheel chair and moved him to the entrance of the building. I could see such joy in his eyes as he looked out onto the frantic life of the street. I found out that he has been in the home for about a year now (most are there for three months or less) and his condition has actually improved during his time there. Through him, I saw hope and joy in the midst of the physical suffering around me. It was a gift from God to remove my blindness, even if only a little bit, so that I could experience this man's joy.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Asita
I want to write a bit about a girl I've met on the street a few times. Her name is Asita (I'm not sure about the spelling). She has multiple times followed us around as we walk through the city. She loves having a hand to hold, or better yet someone to carry her around. She's about eight years old and wears a grayish-brown (because of dirt) dress. My heart goes out to her because I know her situation, I know some of what she needs, but I don't know how to give it to her. She's about 80% deaf, and her parents don't know what to do with her, so they just let her run around. It is probably only by God's grace that she hasn't been killed by a bus, car, train, or rickshaw that she couldn't hear honking at her. While she was walking with us we had to pull her out of harm's way multiple times.
It is so clear to me that she wants and deserves the love and attention she isn't getting from her parents. That's why she walked with us once for an hour and a half before having to be picked up and carried for another half hour back to her "home" area of the streets. I desperately want to love her, but it often isn't appropriate for her to follow us around. Yesterday she followed us for about twenty minutes as we walked to the mother house. Kristin didn't want her along since it was a long walk and we weren't going to go back to her home area any time soon. However we couldn't get her to stop following us. All we could do was refuse to hold her hand and point her towards home. That brought her to tears. Once Todd tried hanging back with her and then out running her to catch up with the team. She was determined and kept chasing. If Todd hadn't turned back part way through an intersection, she probably would have been hit by traffic.
My heart goes out to this girl, but I don't know what to do. Please pray for her and pray that our team would be able to love her effectively.
It is so clear to me that she wants and deserves the love and attention she isn't getting from her parents. That's why she walked with us once for an hour and a half before having to be picked up and carried for another half hour back to her "home" area of the streets. I desperately want to love her, but it often isn't appropriate for her to follow us around. Yesterday she followed us for about twenty minutes as we walked to the mother house. Kristin didn't want her along since it was a long walk and we weren't going to go back to her home area any time soon. However we couldn't get her to stop following us. All we could do was refuse to hold her hand and point her towards home. That brought her to tears. Once Todd tried hanging back with her and then out running her to catch up with the team. She was determined and kept chasing. If Todd hadn't turned back part way through an intersection, she probably would have been hit by traffic.
My heart goes out to this girl, but I don't know what to do. Please pray for her and pray that our team would be able to love her effectively.
Rough Day
Yesterday (Monday) was a long, rough day for our whole team. I already wrote about the morning at Kalighat. I found out that I was not the only member of my team brought to tears that morning.
In the afternoon we got an introduction talk from the Missionaries of Charity for volunteers there. We signed up for which home(s) we wanted to start volunteering in. We are free to change later if we want to. For now I signed up to help at Nabo Jibon, a home for mentally and or physically handicapped boys and men. It is run by the Missionaries of Charity brothers. Todd, the other man on my team will also be volunteering there. My first day there will be Friday. Up until then our team will stick together at Kalighat and doing a few other things.
After everyone had registered, our team got on a bus to head home. Several difficult things happened while we were on the bus. First, Kristin got a call from Gloria, a member of the Nepal team that we had accidentally left behind. You can probably imagine how awful we all felt about that, especially since she is the only non-white, non-American member of either team (she's from Uganda). Anyway, she was able to take a taxi home and got there just a little while after the rest of us.
The bus we had been on was a very crowded bus, and one of our women was groped twice during the ride. Even if it hadn't been a long day, that would have been a hard thing to take. As it was, I'm amazed at how well she held together. After the bus we had a train ride, and the three of us guys did our best to block out Indian men from being next to our women. It helped that the train wasn't too crowded (in Kolkata that means you can stand without touching anyone) and that our women were able to stand on the edge of the women only section of the train.
That evening, after dinner, several members of our team had their first experiences with unstable digestive tracks. This can be quite awkward when there is only one toilet in the apartment and multiple people need to use it urgently for long periods of time. The result was several people running to another one of our apartments. I guess everyone was lucky and there weren't any disasters.
By the end of the day I think everyone was pretty worn out. Most of the team ended the day by taking a lot of personal time to pray and journal.
In the afternoon we got an introduction talk from the Missionaries of Charity for volunteers there. We signed up for which home(s) we wanted to start volunteering in. We are free to change later if we want to. For now I signed up to help at Nabo Jibon, a home for mentally and or physically handicapped boys and men. It is run by the Missionaries of Charity brothers. Todd, the other man on my team will also be volunteering there. My first day there will be Friday. Up until then our team will stick together at Kalighat and doing a few other things.
After everyone had registered, our team got on a bus to head home. Several difficult things happened while we were on the bus. First, Kristin got a call from Gloria, a member of the Nepal team that we had accidentally left behind. You can probably imagine how awful we all felt about that, especially since she is the only non-white, non-American member of either team (she's from Uganda). Anyway, she was able to take a taxi home and got there just a little while after the rest of us.
The bus we had been on was a very crowded bus, and one of our women was groped twice during the ride. Even if it hadn't been a long day, that would have been a hard thing to take. As it was, I'm amazed at how well she held together. After the bus we had a train ride, and the three of us guys did our best to block out Indian men from being next to our women. It helped that the train wasn't too crowded (in Kolkata that means you can stand without touching anyone) and that our women were able to stand on the edge of the women only section of the train.
That evening, after dinner, several members of our team had their first experiences with unstable digestive tracks. This can be quite awkward when there is only one toilet in the apartment and multiple people need to use it urgently for long periods of time. The result was several people running to another one of our apartments. I guess everyone was lucky and there weren't any disasters.
By the end of the day I think everyone was pretty worn out. Most of the team ended the day by taking a lot of personal time to pray and journal.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Kalighat
Wow, so much has happened since I last posted but I'll only be able to post about a little bit. Our team spent the morning in Kalighat, Mother Teresa's home for the dying. It was a really hard place to be. I helped move a lot of people, many of them to be cleaned, and then back to their beds. I tried to interact with the people, but it was hard because of the language barrier. I held one woman's hand while they were treating her arm. She had what looked like a pussy, white rash on the inside of her elbow. I have no idea what it actually was. As I held her hand she moaned and a few tears formed in her eyes. Multiple times she tried to speak to me but I have no idea what she was saying. I wanted so badly to understand her and be able to respond. I felt that way about most of the people there. I was able to talk with one man who spoke enough English. He was 42 and bedridden. He spoke of family that has left him (Not by death). He clearly felt very alone. Quite a few of the men looked fairly young, perhaps younger than me. They had no wrinkles on their faces or gray in their hair. Seeing so many people at the end of their lives, particularly the young ones, was hard.
I also saw several people with some sort of decay on their bodies being treated. I felt sick at the sight of it. One man was having part of the bottom of his foot cut off. I didn't know how to respond, so I turned and walked away towards someone else.
I wanted to show these people love and give them dignity, but I felt so small and powerless to do either of those things. I also felt selfish, because I was holding back emotionally. All of it was pretty overwhelming to me. After 2.5 hours we had a break. I was wrapped up in my thoughts and must have looked pretty troubled. I started weeping a bit while talking to a couple of the women on my team. Kristin told me I could just go into the chapel and take some personal time. I went in and spent about 45 minutes alone weeping, praying, and journaling. I helped a lot and I felt some peace. After that our team was ready to go.
I know it was really good and healthy for me to let my heart break for them. I think there is a lot more than just their pain for me to receive. Our team is going back there again tomorrow. Please pray for us. I want to see joy in the midst of suffering and spiritual life in the midst of physical death. I'm sure it's there, I'm just too blind to see it. Also pray for our ability to show them the love of Christ that they so desperately need.
I also saw several people with some sort of decay on their bodies being treated. I felt sick at the sight of it. One man was having part of the bottom of his foot cut off. I didn't know how to respond, so I turned and walked away towards someone else.
I wanted to show these people love and give them dignity, but I felt so small and powerless to do either of those things. I also felt selfish, because I was holding back emotionally. All of it was pretty overwhelming to me. After 2.5 hours we had a break. I was wrapped up in my thoughts and must have looked pretty troubled. I started weeping a bit while talking to a couple of the women on my team. Kristin told me I could just go into the chapel and take some personal time. I went in and spent about 45 minutes alone weeping, praying, and journaling. I helped a lot and I felt some peace. After that our team was ready to go.
I know it was really good and healthy for me to let my heart break for them. I think there is a lot more than just their pain for me to receive. Our team is going back there again tomorrow. Please pray for us. I want to see joy in the midst of suffering and spiritual life in the midst of physical death. I'm sure it's there, I'm just too blind to see it. Also pray for our ability to show them the love of Christ that they so desperately need.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Feelings For the First 1.5 Days
This first night was really hard. I was tired from about two days worth of travel with only a little bit of sleep on the airplanes. Kolkata really overwhelmed me. The smells, the noise, and in particular, the reality of what my day to day life will be like. I finally made it to bed at about 2am, and fell asleep pretty quickly. Unfortunately I woke up again in less than an hour. It was noisy and the "bed" wasn't all that comfortable. I lay awake for a while unable to go back to sleep. I think that's when a lot of stuff started to sink in. I felt overwhelmed and unable to deal with my own living situation. I started to wonder how I could possibly make it for four months living like this. Then I thought about those I will be serving, and felt even more overwhelmed. After laying awake for maybe an hour or so, I remembered that I had packed some ear plugs (thanks Mom!). Using those I was able to get some sleep. I felt a bit better in the morning.
We spent the morning on Saturday doing a walking tour of the city. There were a lot of things I saw that I don't know how to deal with. I'll mention some of them here, but I'm sure I won't remember everything. I saw people living and sleeping just about anywhere out in crowded areas of the city. I saw a ton of beggars, many with deformed bodies. There was a naked child running around near where his mother was staying on the street. There were rickshaws (passenger carts) being pulled around by men. I saw a child with scabies being held by her mother. I found out later that the Word Made Flesh staff has given the mother medication, but that she refuses to use it because her child's illness helps her to beg. I felt really overwhelmed by all of it. Some of the men on the streets would feel the women on our team as we walked by. I felt like crying several times. At one point in the day I was riding on a bus staring out the window in disbelief. It all felt surreal, like this place couldn't really exist or at least shouldn't exist. Certainly I wish that many aspects of Kolkata didn't exist, yet they do. I'm sure that God has a lot to teach me here.
Last night we had a bit of team time. It's kind of hard since the combination of the India and Nepal teams gives us 11 people not counting the three Word Made Flesh Staff. Kristin (WMF staff member in charge of leading our team) had each of us give a number from 0 - 10. 0 was "I hate this place and I want to go home". 10 was "I absolutely am glad to be here and have no desire to be anywhere else." Scores ranged from 1 to 8. I scored myself at a 2 or 3. I'm finding it really difficult to be here, but I also know that God brought me here and this will be a really good time of growth for me.
I'm realizing very quickly how important my community will be. There is no way I could possibly manage in this place without their constant support. I honestly find it hard to believe that I've only known them since Wednesday night. We have definitely experienced more than four days worth of life together. God has certainly blessed me abundantly with them.
This morning we went to a local Church. Apparently many of the adults who live further away couldn't make it, because of an Muslim festival making it hard to get around. As a result, they were without their worship leaders and their Sunday school teachers. We sang several songs acappella, and then our team was invited to lead a song. We taught them (or more sang for them) "Father I Adore You". The pastor asked if any of our team would volunteer to teach the Sunday school classes. Four of us (myself included) led the class for the younger kids. They didn't really know English, so we had a couple teenagers translating for us. We taught them a few songs, and helped them act out the story of the good Samaritan. I was amazed at how well behaved these kids were. They all sat still to listen to us, and then did what we told them to do (through our translators of course). I don't think most college students are as well behaved as they were. Knowing the rough ages of these kids, it was pretty clear to us that they are quite small for their ages relative to American kids. I suspect this is largely the result of them not getting enough food.
Overall, after a day and a half, I'm feeling pretty good. I know things are going to be really hard, but I also know that God will be us, and that I am part of a very supportive community with compassionate leadership that understands how hard Kolkata is.
We spent the morning on Saturday doing a walking tour of the city. There were a lot of things I saw that I don't know how to deal with. I'll mention some of them here, but I'm sure I won't remember everything. I saw people living and sleeping just about anywhere out in crowded areas of the city. I saw a ton of beggars, many with deformed bodies. There was a naked child running around near where his mother was staying on the street. There were rickshaws (passenger carts) being pulled around by men. I saw a child with scabies being held by her mother. I found out later that the Word Made Flesh staff has given the mother medication, but that she refuses to use it because her child's illness helps her to beg. I felt really overwhelmed by all of it. Some of the men on the streets would feel the women on our team as we walked by. I felt like crying several times. At one point in the day I was riding on a bus staring out the window in disbelief. It all felt surreal, like this place couldn't really exist or at least shouldn't exist. Certainly I wish that many aspects of Kolkata didn't exist, yet they do. I'm sure that God has a lot to teach me here.
Last night we had a bit of team time. It's kind of hard since the combination of the India and Nepal teams gives us 11 people not counting the three Word Made Flesh Staff. Kristin (WMF staff member in charge of leading our team) had each of us give a number from 0 - 10. 0 was "I hate this place and I want to go home". 10 was "I absolutely am glad to be here and have no desire to be anywhere else." Scores ranged from 1 to 8. I scored myself at a 2 or 3. I'm finding it really difficult to be here, but I also know that God brought me here and this will be a really good time of growth for me.
I'm realizing very quickly how important my community will be. There is no way I could possibly manage in this place without their constant support. I honestly find it hard to believe that I've only known them since Wednesday night. We have definitely experienced more than four days worth of life together. God has certainly blessed me abundantly with them.
This morning we went to a local Church. Apparently many of the adults who live further away couldn't make it, because of an Muslim festival making it hard to get around. As a result, they were without their worship leaders and their Sunday school teachers. We sang several songs acappella, and then our team was invited to lead a song. We taught them (or more sang for them) "Father I Adore You". The pastor asked if any of our team would volunteer to teach the Sunday school classes. Four of us (myself included) led the class for the younger kids. They didn't really know English, so we had a couple teenagers translating for us. We taught them a few songs, and helped them act out the story of the good Samaritan. I was amazed at how well behaved these kids were. They all sat still to listen to us, and then did what we told them to do (through our translators of course). I don't think most college students are as well behaved as they were. Knowing the rough ages of these kids, it was pretty clear to us that they are quite small for their ages relative to American kids. I suspect this is largely the result of them not getting enough food.
Overall, after a day and a half, I'm feeling pretty good. I know things are going to be really hard, but I also know that God will be us, and that I am part of a very supportive community with compassionate leadership that understands how hard Kolkata is.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Todd's blog
Todd, the other guy on the Kolkata servant team started a blog specifically for this trip. I added a link on the side. Go check it out!
First Post From Kolkata
Our team made it to Kolkata last night. Our flight landed at about 10:45pm Kolkata time. I was finally in bed by about 2am. Things were lengthened by people losing luggage (not me thank goodness). Even though I haven't even been here for 24 hours, I already have a lot to share. There won't be anyway for me to share what it's really like. It pretty much has to be experienced to be understood at all because it's pretty overwhelming. I'll see how organized I can keep my thoughts...
I'll start with our living situation. Right now both the India and Nepal teams are here in Kolkata. The Nepal team will leave in about 2-3 weeks and then it will just be 6 of us. There are 8 women and 3 men total between the two teams. The women have one apartment, and the guys are in another, smaller one about a five minute walk away. In the guys apartment there will be four guys sleeping in one room. The "mattresses" are each made of two thin quilts on the stone floor. The pillows are small and firm. We are lucky enough to have a ceiling fan in the room to help keep us cool. There is one sink, one shower, and one squatty potty. The tap water is ok for washing, but isn't good enough for drinking. The shower doesn't put out heated water, so it's only cold showers. We're also supposed to conserve water, so the showers end up pretty short. Here's how they told us to do it. Turn it on, get wet, turn it off, Use soap / shampoo, rinse it off, and you're done. It worked alright for me this morning. It certainly was a different experience.
Traffic isn't like anything I've ever seen before. There aren't lanes on the street, so "transportation units" (anything from buses, to human pulled rickshaws, to pedestrians) just go wherever they fit. Riding in a taxi this morning was a very unique experience. I honestly don't understand how I didn't see a single accident. Oh, and the use of the horn seems to be a bit different than in America. In America, a horn seems to mean "I hate you" or "You're a stupid driver." In Kolkata, I think the horn means "I have a horn." They basically get used all of the time to make sure everyone else knows you're there. It is completely chaotic and loud. Most places you go, even when there are only people on foot, it seems like you have to fight your way through the crowds. It feels like trying to get out of a stadium after a packed sporting event, except not everyone is going the same way.
I have never been anywhere so dirty as Kolkata. There are smells everywhere, and they're constantly changing. Many of them I couldn't even tell what it was that I was smelling. The whole place just has a dirty feel to it too. Lot's of grays and browns everywhere. The thing that seems out of place, however, is that most of the people you see out and about are dressed fairly nicely. Most men wear slacks and a button down shirt. In the midst of the grime and dirt of the city, I'm seeing beauty. Maybe it's just the contrast, but the traditional outfits of women (saris and sarongs) are absolutely gorgeous. I'm sure God will reveal a lot more beauty to me during my time here.
The condition of many people that I have seen so far just from a walking tour of the city has already hit me. There are people just curled up trying to sleep in hugely crowded areas of the city. There were men sleeping on two feet wide concrete sections that divide directions of traffic. People in the middle of the train station. Everywhere!
It seems like I'm only scratching the surface, but I have to stop because our team is leaving the internet cafe. I think I'll be able to post at least once every day or two. Thank you so much to everyone that has emailed me. I won't be able to respond personally all of the time, but I really appreciate the mail. Please please keep praying for us. We really need it. This is a very hard city to be in.
I'll start with our living situation. Right now both the India and Nepal teams are here in Kolkata. The Nepal team will leave in about 2-3 weeks and then it will just be 6 of us. There are 8 women and 3 men total between the two teams. The women have one apartment, and the guys are in another, smaller one about a five minute walk away. In the guys apartment there will be four guys sleeping in one room. The "mattresses" are each made of two thin quilts on the stone floor. The pillows are small and firm. We are lucky enough to have a ceiling fan in the room to help keep us cool. There is one sink, one shower, and one squatty potty. The tap water is ok for washing, but isn't good enough for drinking. The shower doesn't put out heated water, so it's only cold showers. We're also supposed to conserve water, so the showers end up pretty short. Here's how they told us to do it. Turn it on, get wet, turn it off, Use soap / shampoo, rinse it off, and you're done. It worked alright for me this morning. It certainly was a different experience.
Traffic isn't like anything I've ever seen before. There aren't lanes on the street, so "transportation units" (anything from buses, to human pulled rickshaws, to pedestrians) just go wherever they fit. Riding in a taxi this morning was a very unique experience. I honestly don't understand how I didn't see a single accident. Oh, and the use of the horn seems to be a bit different than in America. In America, a horn seems to mean "I hate you" or "You're a stupid driver." In Kolkata, I think the horn means "I have a horn." They basically get used all of the time to make sure everyone else knows you're there. It is completely chaotic and loud. Most places you go, even when there are only people on foot, it seems like you have to fight your way through the crowds. It feels like trying to get out of a stadium after a packed sporting event, except not everyone is going the same way.
I have never been anywhere so dirty as Kolkata. There are smells everywhere, and they're constantly changing. Many of them I couldn't even tell what it was that I was smelling. The whole place just has a dirty feel to it too. Lot's of grays and browns everywhere. The thing that seems out of place, however, is that most of the people you see out and about are dressed fairly nicely. Most men wear slacks and a button down shirt. In the midst of the grime and dirt of the city, I'm seeing beauty. Maybe it's just the contrast, but the traditional outfits of women (saris and sarongs) are absolutely gorgeous. I'm sure God will reveal a lot more beauty to me during my time here.
The condition of many people that I have seen so far just from a walking tour of the city has already hit me. There are people just curled up trying to sleep in hugely crowded areas of the city. There were men sleeping on two feet wide concrete sections that divide directions of traffic. People in the middle of the train station. Everywhere!
It seems like I'm only scratching the surface, but I have to stop because our team is leaving the internet cafe. I think I'll be able to post at least once every day or two. Thank you so much to everyone that has emailed me. I won't be able to respond personally all of the time, but I really appreciate the mail. Please please keep praying for us. We really need it. This is a very hard city to be in.
Friday, February 18, 2005
Almost There
I'm in the Singapore airport right now enjoying their free internet access. Our team has a nine hour layover here. We'll be taking a bus tour of the city soon.
The flight from LAX to Singapore was long, but manageable. Singapore Air is a wonderful airline. I was able to sleep a little, but really, my body is pretty confused right now. Hopefully it won't take me too long to figure out the difference between night and day once I'm in Kolkata.
I'm really enjoying getting to know my team. They seem like a really great group of people, with amazingly different backgrounds and experiences. I look forward to four intense months with them.
...Oh, and can anyone tell me how Sky Captain ends (like the last half hour or so of it)? I fell asleep while watching it on the plane.
The flight from LAX to Singapore was long, but manageable. Singapore Air is a wonderful airline. I was able to sleep a little, but really, my body is pretty confused right now. Hopefully it won't take me too long to figure out the difference between night and day once I'm in Kolkata.
I'm really enjoying getting to know my team. They seem like a really great group of people, with amazingly different backgrounds and experiences. I look forward to four intense months with them.
...Oh, and can anyone tell me how Sky Captain ends (like the last half hour or so of it)? I fell asleep while watching it on the plane.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
On My Way To India
Here's my pre-trip prayer letter. I'll probably post all of them up here and they'll be more summarizing, once a month sorts of things. I'll try to put up a lot more detailed day to day stuff here on my blog too, so it'll be worth checking back every once in a while. Here's the letter:
Hello Everyone,
Today is the big day, the day I depart to spend four months overseas working with the poorest of the poor in the world. For those of you that aren't already aware, I'm going with a Christian missions organization called Word Made Flesh (www.wordmadeflesh.org). I will be on a team of six, being led by one of their full time missionaries.
The majority of our four months will be spent in Kolkata (Calcutta), India. However there was a recent change of plans and our team will spend April in Sri Lanka working with Habitat for Humanity rebuilding from the destruction of the tsunami. While in Kolkata, our team will be working in the Missionaries of Charity homes. Depending on which home(s) I end up serving in, I could be working with street kids, helping those recovering from drug addictions, serving at a home for the dying, or helping at any of several other homes. No matter where I end up, I know that this will be both a very challenging and very formative time for me. I expect that I will probably experience some of the lowest emotional lows of my life, as well as some of the highest emotional highs of my life.
Please consider praying for me regularly. I have seen God work wonders through prayer, and will be glad for all the prayer support I can get. The following is a short (and incomplete) list of things I would appreciate prayer for: Please be praying for personal growth, both for me and for my team. Pray that I would be emotionally present so I can actually come to grips with the pain around me. Pray that my heart would break for the poor and oppressed of the world. Pray that God would help me discern if this is a longer term calling for my life. I want to stay open to that option so God can direct me. Pray for strength of relationship within our team. We will meet each other for the first time at LAX before flying overseas together. We need to learn to support each other very quickly. Pray that as issues of conflict arise, God will give us a humble love for each other so that we can reconcile with each other. Please pray for us as we begin interacting within a very foreign culture. There are many things we are used to that will be cultural taboos while we are overseas. There are also many differences that we can learn a great deal from if we are open to them. There is also the huge barrier of language. The people we will be interacting with will primarily speak Bengali. Although we will receive language lessons while we are there, language will be a huge barrier for the duration of the trip. Please pray that we will be quick to pick up Bengali and that we will be able to give and receive love beyond words.
I would love receiving mail of any form while I am overseas. I will be checking my email (Philip_Vegdahl@alumni.hmc.edu) semi-regularly while in Kolkata. You can also send old fashioned mail to me at the following address:
Philip Vegdahl
c/o Missionaries of Charity Volunteers
54 AJC Bose Road
Calcutta, India 700-016
Thank you again so much for your loving support,
In Christ's love,
Philip
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Seventh of Seven Prayer Requests
I leave for Kolkata tomorrow, so this will be the last post in my week long series on ways you can be praying for me. Thank you so much to everyone that is supporting me through prayer. Thank you for all of your words of encouragement and support. I will do my best to continue updating this while I am in Kolkata. I cannot make any promises about how often that will be. Please email me and/or leave comments while I’m in Kolkata. I definitely want to keep hearing from people.
Personal Growth. Above everything else, I want to grow closer to Jesus during this trip. Pray for my heart, that it will be soft and teachable. Pray for my ability to process what I am going through. Pray that God will begin revealing His purposes for my life. I don’t know if long term overseas missions is for me or not, but I’m keeping myself open to that and want God to help me start (perhaps finish) discerning that during this trip. Pray that God will show me who I really am, and who He made me to be.
Personal Growth. Above everything else, I want to grow closer to Jesus during this trip. Pray for my heart, that it will be soft and teachable. Pray for my ability to process what I am going through. Pray that God will begin revealing His purposes for my life. I don’t know if long term overseas missions is for me or not, but I’m keeping myself open to that and want God to help me start (perhaps finish) discerning that during this trip. Pray that God will show me who I really am, and who He made me to be.
Monday, February 14, 2005
A Dilly of a Pickle
I was over at my Grandparents tonight. While I was there, I helped my Grandma set up a new email account (She's on Gmail now!). Anyway, their internet was acting up in some weird ways, so I decided to implement my usual solution, installing Firefox. It was at this point that I noticed another problem. When I visited www.mozilla.org, the link to download Firefox wasn't there. Some spyware app was blocking their ability to download Firefox! I searched around for another link, and eventually found a link for an older version... In Swedish. Oh well, really that was enough since it allowed me to download the current English version of Firefox.
Six
Safety and Health. Please pray for these in every way you can think of. I've talked to multiple people that have come back from Kolkata with parasites. One women I talked to came back with five of them after only being there for five weeks! (Yes, that is a very extreme and unlikely case.) Even if not that extreme, sickness is still very likely to hit our team many times during the trip.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Number Five
Culture. Our team will be experiencing a lot of new and very challenging things just in cultural differences. Please pray that we will be slow to criticize their culture. Pray that we will instead appreciate and learn from the differences in their culture. I am certain that there are many, many things we can learn from them, particularly in the areas that will be the most foreign to us as Americans. Also pray that our team would learn to be culturally sensitive to those around us.
Saturday, February 12, 2005
I'm Probably Reading Too Much Into This Sign...
This morning I went out for breakfast with my friend Aaron. I noticed a sign that said the following (at least, to the best of my memory):
And no, I do not consider that to be a definition of normal people.
It is illegal for normal people to work here.That got me wondering about who they consider to be normal. It was a small place, and I could easily see into the kitchen. Based on the staff that I saw, the following definition of normal people would fit: White males.
And no, I do not consider that to be a definition of normal people.
4th Prayer Request
Team Dynamics. It is going to be a very intense four months for all of us. We're going into it not knowing each other, and we will need to be close in just about every way. Please pray for our ability to support each other, especially early on before we get to know each other particularly well. We will certainly experience times of conflict during the trip. Please pray that we will grow closer, understanding each other and ourselves better through our conflict and reconciliation.
Friday, February 11, 2005
Prayer Request #3
Language Barrier. Our team will be serving among people that primarily just speak Bengali. To my knowledge no one on our team has any prior experience with Bengali. We will be receiving language lessons while we are there, however the language issue is certain to be a struggle throughout the trip. Please pray that our team will be quick to pick up on the language. Also pray that we will be able to have meaningful interactions with people in spite of the language barrier.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Prayer Request #2
Changing expectations. I'm going to be dealing with this a lot, and it is something I tend to struggle with (Ask my LAUP team if you don't believe me). Right now, I don't feel like I really have a great feel for exactly how anything is going to work. I don't know when our team is going to Sri Lanka. I think we're taking a trip to Nepal too, but all I know of that was a brief reference in an email. There are many other things I wish I knew about the trip, but won't until sometime during the trip. Please pray that God will grow me in my ability to handle change and lack of clear expectations.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
One Week
In one week I will be leaving America for four months. I have one significant change regarding the trip. Our team will only be in Kolkata for three of the four months. We will take a sub-trip to Sri Lanka for one month. While there, our team will be partnering with Habitat for Humanity helping to rebuild from the destruction of the Tsunami.
For the next week, I am going to try to post a prayer request every day. Not only do I desperately need the prayer, it will also help me gather my thoughts before writing my pre-trip update letter.
I’ll start things off now. Please pray that I will be emotionally and spiritually present while overseas. I will be in the midst of some of the worst pain and suffering anywhere in the world, and I don’t want to close myself off to it. I need God to help me feel and understand their suffering. Out of that, I want God to grow a genuine, undying love for the forgotten and rejected people of this world.
For the next week, I am going to try to post a prayer request every day. Not only do I desperately need the prayer, it will also help me gather my thoughts before writing my pre-trip update letter.
I’ll start things off now. Please pray that I will be emotionally and spiritually present while overseas. I will be in the midst of some of the worst pain and suffering anywhere in the world, and I don’t want to close myself off to it. I need God to help me feel and understand their suffering. Out of that, I want God to grow a genuine, undying love for the forgotten and rejected people of this world.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Home Again
I'm back up at home in Beaverton now. I've actually been here since Saturday evening. There are plenty of things about my week in LA or about my drive back up to Portland that I could share. I'll restrict myself to just a couple of stories.
On Thursday night I went to the 3CIV (Three College Intervarsity) meeting in Claremont. It was nice to see how they are doing. I really liked seeing a lot of new people coming into leadership roles. As part of the meeting they had Lydia pray for me to send me off for my trip to Kolkata. She prayed a lot of things for me, but the thing that people will remember is that she prayed for my bowels. After what I've heard about my likely experiences in Kolkata, this seems like a fairly good prayer to me. I can, however, understand why it produced so many laughs.
On my way back up north, I stopped to visit an aunt, uncle, and cousins in the Sacramento area. My cousin Peter is quite the young gamer (Much like I was when I was in fourth grade). Anyway, I still have a bunch of my old Game Boy games, which can still be played in the new Game Boy Advance systems (although not in the brand new Game Boy DS). I showed Peter my collection of over 20 games. He became very excited to see so many games. I let him choose three of them to keep, and I plan to do the same on future visits. I haven't played my Game Boy in years, so I'm glad that now he can get some enjoyment out of my old games.
On Thursday night I went to the 3CIV (Three College Intervarsity) meeting in Claremont. It was nice to see how they are doing. I really liked seeing a lot of new people coming into leadership roles. As part of the meeting they had Lydia pray for me to send me off for my trip to Kolkata. She prayed a lot of things for me, but the thing that people will remember is that she prayed for my bowels. After what I've heard about my likely experiences in Kolkata, this seems like a fairly good prayer to me. I can, however, understand why it produced so many laughs.
On my way back up north, I stopped to visit an aunt, uncle, and cousins in the Sacramento area. My cousin Peter is quite the young gamer (Much like I was when I was in fourth grade). Anyway, I still have a bunch of my old Game Boy games, which can still be played in the new Game Boy Advance systems (although not in the brand new Game Boy DS). I showed Peter my collection of over 20 games. He became very excited to see so many games. I let him choose three of them to keep, and I plan to do the same on future visits. I haven't played my Game Boy in years, so I'm glad that now he can get some enjoyment out of my old games.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Reflections on Santa Barbara
During my four months in Santa Barbara, God taught me a lot. I'm sure that I don't know the full extent of everything He was trying to teach me, and even what I know would take a while to write here. Instead I'm going to share two of the primary themes I saw throughout my time in Santa Barbara.
The themes are thankfulness, and joy. Obviously these themes are not unrelated. Since I first received the job offer at Toyon in September, I have seen the ways that God has put pieces into place for me. My Church, my home group, being able to live with Ian. All of it was such a blessing. Here's the crazy part. I don't think God has been doing more for me than He was before, I just think God has helped open my eyes to more of the blessings in my life. I am thankful for all of it!
The theme of thankfulness was one I had picked up after just a couple of months. It wasn't until the very end of my time in Santa Barbara that I realized God had also been teaching me about joy. This realization came during my last home group meeting when we studied 1 Peter 1:6-12. There's a lot in that passage, but we spent the majority of our time talking about joy. I realized that while in Santa Barbara, God has given me four of the most joyful months of my life. More than that, it wasn't my situations that made me joyful, because then my joy would have disappeared during the difficult times. Rather, God allowed me to experience joy throughout, even when I was struggling.
There are many examples I could give to demonstrate these things, but I will use an example from my final day at work. My last few hours at work were spent showing my boss (not project manager) a demonstration of what I had been working on almost exclusively for the last 2 months I was at Toyon. Here's the short (probably over-simplified) version of what I had been doing: I was interfacing a routing algorithm written by someone outside of Toyon with our program so it could tell planes where to go. The result of my efforts was something my boss deemed unusable. Granted, it probably wasn't my fault, since I largely just interfaced the algorithm. Still, it was depressing to find out that my work wouldn't be used. In the midst of this, I remembered home group from the night before, and found the answer I needed: God reminded me to be joyful. At the very end of the day, just a few minutes before I left, I saw someone I wasn't expecting to see. Mark, another one of my project managers appeared outside my door to wish me off. He had been at the Harvey Mudd career fair that afternoon, but had left a bit early and rushed back so that he could see me off. I was really touched that he had come back just to see me off on my last day. Once again God brought me back to a humble thankfulness. I left Toyon that evening knowing not only that God loves me, but also that I was at a company with people who cared about me.
The themes are thankfulness, and joy. Obviously these themes are not unrelated. Since I first received the job offer at Toyon in September, I have seen the ways that God has put pieces into place for me. My Church, my home group, being able to live with Ian. All of it was such a blessing. Here's the crazy part. I don't think God has been doing more for me than He was before, I just think God has helped open my eyes to more of the blessings in my life. I am thankful for all of it!
The theme of thankfulness was one I had picked up after just a couple of months. It wasn't until the very end of my time in Santa Barbara that I realized God had also been teaching me about joy. This realization came during my last home group meeting when we studied 1 Peter 1:6-12. There's a lot in that passage, but we spent the majority of our time talking about joy. I realized that while in Santa Barbara, God has given me four of the most joyful months of my life. More than that, it wasn't my situations that made me joyful, because then my joy would have disappeared during the difficult times. Rather, God allowed me to experience joy throughout, even when I was struggling.
There are many examples I could give to demonstrate these things, but I will use an example from my final day at work. My last few hours at work were spent showing my boss (not project manager) a demonstration of what I had been working on almost exclusively for the last 2 months I was at Toyon. Here's the short (probably over-simplified) version of what I had been doing: I was interfacing a routing algorithm written by someone outside of Toyon with our program so it could tell planes where to go. The result of my efforts was something my boss deemed unusable. Granted, it probably wasn't my fault, since I largely just interfaced the algorithm. Still, it was depressing to find out that my work wouldn't be used. In the midst of this, I remembered home group from the night before, and found the answer I needed: God reminded me to be joyful. At the very end of the day, just a few minutes before I left, I saw someone I wasn't expecting to see. Mark, another one of my project managers appeared outside my door to wish me off. He had been at the Harvey Mudd career fair that afternoon, but had left a bit early and rushed back so that he could see me off. I was really touched that he had come back just to see me off on my last day. Once again God brought me back to a humble thankfulness. I left Toyon that evening knowing not only that God loves me, but also that I was at a company with people who cared about me.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Travels
I finished my internship at Toyon last Friday. I'm currently traveling through LA visiting college friends. I'll be driving back up to Portland on Friday and Saturday. Then I have a week and a half to spend time with family and friends up in the North-West. On February 16th I'll be on a plane out of the country.
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