Kalighat

Wow, so much has happened since I last posted but I'll only be able to post about a little bit. Our team spent the morning in Kalighat, Mother Teresa's home for the dying. It was a really hard place to be. I helped move a lot of people, many of them to be cleaned, and then back to their beds. I tried to interact with the people, but it was hard because of the language barrier. I held one woman's hand while they were treating her arm. She had what looked like a pussy, white rash on the inside of her elbow. I have no idea what it actually was. As I held her hand she moaned and a few tears formed in her eyes. Multiple times she tried to speak to me but I have no idea what she was saying. I wanted so badly to understand her and be able to respond. I felt that way about most of the people there. I was able to talk with one man who spoke enough English. He was 42 and bedridden. He spoke of family that has left him (Not by death). He clearly felt very alone. Quite a few of the men looked fairly young, perhaps younger than me. They had no wrinkles on their faces or gray in their hair. Seeing so many people at the end of their lives, particularly the young ones, was hard.

I also saw several people with some sort of decay on their bodies being treated. I felt sick at the sight of it. One man was having part of the bottom of his foot cut off. I didn't know how to respond, so I turned and walked away towards someone else.

I wanted to show these people love and give them dignity, but I felt so small and powerless to do either of those things. I also felt selfish, because I was holding back emotionally. All of it was pretty overwhelming to me. After 2.5 hours we had a break. I was wrapped up in my thoughts and must have looked pretty troubled. I started weeping a bit while talking to a couple of the women on my team. Kristin told me I could just go into the chapel and take some personal time. I went in and spent about 45 minutes alone weeping, praying, and journaling. I helped a lot and I felt some peace. After that our team was ready to go.

I know it was really good and healthy for me to let my heart break for them. I think there is a lot more than just their pain for me to receive. Our team is going back there again tomorrow. Please pray for us. I want to see joy in the midst of suffering and spiritual life in the midst of physical death. I'm sure it's there, I'm just too blind to see it. Also pray for our ability to show them the love of Christ that they so desperately need.