I really feel like I ignore the beggars around me too much. Generally it is a combination of factors. I'm often in too much of a hurry so I don't want to take the time. This is much more of a factor for me than issues of money. I also find myself emotionally drained and just not wanting to deal with anything. Neither of these seem like particularly good reasons to ignore and avoid beggars.
Yesterday, after leaving the internet cafe I was feeling kind of low on energy, but I did have plenty of time before I needed to get back. Almost immediately after stepping outside I saw three women sitting at the side of the street. As I approached them one of them held out a hand. I stopped and greeted them. Before saying anything to them about giving or not giving, one of them invited me to sit down. In fact, not only did she invite me to sit down, she got off of the blanket she was sitting on so that I could sit on it. I sat down and started talking with them. They were all related as mother, daughter, and aunt/sister. One of them pulled out a small photo album she had with her and tried to explain to me who some of the people in it were. They asked me about myself, and generally just seemed to enjoy the interaction. After five minutes there hadn't been any mention of food or money, we were just talking.
About that time a young Indian man joined us. He said he worked nearby, and I got the impression he was pretty well off. He knew quite a bit of English, and pretty much took over the conversation. He pretty quickly started pushing me pretty hard to give them money. He told me that they were mad at me for not giving them anything, something I really don't think was true. I told him that I was already planning to help them, but he didn't seem to believe me until I would actually do something. At this point I was becoming somewhat frustrated with him because he had completely changed the dynamic of the exchange. I told the women to come and I would give them food. We went to a nearby egg roll / chow mien stand and I bought them all some food. Once I had done this the man left, but I was still feeling frustrated because of him. Rather than try to continue talking with them women, I chose to go home.
I hope I run into them again. I really enjoyed talking with them, and really just felt good about my interaction with them (Other than the parts about that man). I felt like I was actually able to relate and share with them across language, cultural, racial, and class barriers.
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2 comments:
I doubt it was the "good cop, bad cop" trick. From my experiences there, I would think it was likely that the man did have some sort of ownership over the women's proceeds. But I think that the women probably honestly wanted to talk to you. They were likely enjoying the interaction when the guy running the operation got upset that you were there chatting it up with them and preventing them from collecting more. If I were you, I would keep interrupting his operation by loving these women, and keep getting them perishable foods that that dude can't sell.
I'm pretty much going to stick with it being a good thing that I got them food. Women in particular have very very few options in India. Either they have a husband provide for them, they beg, or they become prostitutes. There are some other opportunities, but they are very limited. Seeing as most of the women that end up on the streets like that don't have husbands, or the husbands they have are alcoholics that won't provide for them, I'm willing to buy them some food even if they're using deceptive techniques. I'd much prefer that they choose begging over being forced into prostitution to survive.
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