This isn't a post that I really want to write, but I feel that out of honesty I have to write it. If you haven't read this post from yesterday, go back and read it first. This post will be a continuation of the story I began in that post.
Yesterday I went back to the armless man on the street. Once again I brought an egg roll that I could feed him. It still seemed like a small, insufficient thing to do, but I was glad to do it. Unfortunately things just weren't the same this time. Several things happened that complicated the situation a lot. First of all, as I walked up to him I saw him scratch himself with his right arm, then hide it away under his body. I realized that I had been fooled into believing that this man's condition was worse than it actually was. Still, he was disabled, and I had an egg roll for him. I began to feed him.
Jen was along with me this time, and a man from London started talking with her. Apparently he's been in the area for several years working with the Missionaries of Charity and some other NGOs. I didn't like what I heard from him. In fact, at first I was angry and wished he would go away. I realized (eventually) that he knew better than I did though. There is a MC (Missionaries of Charity) home where physically disabled people are trained and given the equipment to make a living. Most of the people there have leprosy, but that isn't a necessity. Anyone living on the street would know about this place. Unfortunately they also know that they can make a better living by begging. Many of the beggars do better than the street merchants. It isn't that they don't have other options, it is just that they choose to beg as a profession. It makes me think I should be paying more than seven rupees for my egg rolls to support someone who is likely equally poor, but is willing to work.
I will say that spending a few rupees now and then on professional deceivers isn't the end of the world. I'd rather not do it, but it won't kill me either. Here's what really upsets me: There are still people on the street that genuinely cannot get food for themselves and/or their children in any other way. Unfortunately they usually aren't as good at begging as the professional beggars. Thus because of the professional beggars, little if any generosity makes it to them. As far as I'm concerned, the professional beggars are stealing from those that are truly needy. This reality is very disturbing and upsetting to me.
I realize, however, that they is an even greater evil. Every day Satan is working to harden my heart and every other generous heart in Kolkata. This is a hard city to live in, and the harder I let my heart get, the easier it is to get through the day. I know, however, that this is not the heart of God. Please be praying for softness of heart for me and for the team. Please pray that God will guide us as we struggle with the difficult questions of when to give, what to give, and how to give in a loving way that is honoring to God. Our team will be struggling with this issue throughout our four months in Kolkata.
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4 comments:
that can be a hard situation to deal with. At the same time though, true kindness can be convicting to anyone. Seek out the most needy, but keep your heart soft towards everyone, and God will work. (and every once in a while, pull back from rupees and think in dollars again for a second, and realize how insignificant what you are doing is monetarily - that worked for me ;) )
Philip,
I’m drawn to remark that there are limitless ways of seeing the picture.
In his book ‘Life Together’, Dietrich Bonhoeffer talks about disillusionment and how our dream of the ideal is what destroys it. When we give up the illusion of perfection, we are able to admit that we are all imperfect and need God’s grace. Is there a perfect beggar? Sometimes our limited understanding, our short-sightedness, causes us to hold back or pass judgment. Only God knows the whole story. The best we can do is to love without reservation.
Be gentle with yourself.
Margaret
Philip,
Yes, perhaps you were deceived, but maybe it was a test, a test that you passed with flying colors. As you say, Satan is working against God's will, but he will never prevail in the end.
Rick
It isn't an issue of the money to me. It's an issue of what it creates. During our orientation with the Missionaries of Charity, they strongly requested that we do not give out money because it makes their job harder. They didn't say why, although I have a guess. The MCs are in here trying to actually change things by fixing the structural problems and getting people back on their feet. If someone knows that they can just get money by asking people for it, they won't be willing to go through the work to actually earn the money.
At the same time I do realize that there are times when someone really just needs a little bit of help to get them through a tough time. It is a question of how to love people without perpetuating the structural problems. Any simple all encompassing answer is probably over simplifying the issue.
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