Not an "Or" Question

I'm beginning to realize that very often I (as well as lots of other people) tend to ask questions as "or" when the answer should be "and." I will create entire arguments to explain why one thing is better or more important than another. This results in mentalities where one thing is completely important, while the other is seen as completely worthless by comparison. The problem is that quite often, this is used more as a justification to avoid the "lesser" thing, while in reality both are critically important and one without the other will usually be empty. Here's a few examples that immediately come to mind:

Solidarity and Solutions: When someone comes to you, pained by something, what is your response? For a long time, if I could respond with a solution to their problem, that was the only response I gave. Only in the absence of a solution would I seek to comfort them by joining with them, acknowledging and sharing their pain. I saw solidarity with others as a fall back when I couldn't do the "better" thing of offering a solution. In reality though, both are important.

An excellent example of this is the way Jesus responds to Mary's pain at the death of Lazarus. Jesus knows that He is going to raise Lazarus from the dead, he could easily and painlessly skip to the solution. Instead, He sees Mary's tears and joins them with His own. Jesus allows Himself to feel Mary's pain. He acknowledges that her pain is real, and joins her so that she is not alone in her pain. Only after Jesus has joined Mary in her pain does He provide a solution.

I find that all too often I am quick to jump to solutions for people. I never stop to let them know that I care about their pain or to let myself hurt because they are hurting. By jumping to a solution I imply that their pain doesn't matter. It is only after acknowledging that pain and joining with them in solidarity that I can offer a loving solution.

On the other side of things, if you truly allow yourself to hurt because they are hurt, it is only natural that you would seek to give them a solution. In many cases it isn't possible. I cannot undo the death of the tsunami, but if I truly feel the pain of their loss, I will at least seek to help them rebuild their homes.


Prayer and Action: This one comes up a lot with a lot of people I interact with. God calls us both to pray and to act. Without prayer, we are working on our own strength, unwilling to seek God's strength and guidance in our actions. Without seeking to act on the things we pray for, we are denying God of ourselves as workers in the Kingdom. We are hiding behind fear of risking ourselves in ways that may hurt, or believing the lie that God cannot use us. Yes there are times when you can do nothing more than pray, but to claim that acting out in faith does not matter to God is an absolute lie.


Community and Solitude: I'm not going to go into this one as much. Jesus wants us all to be involved in community. It is also critically important to our relationship with Jesus that we do maintain times of solitude and prayer. If you look at the Gospels, it is clear that both community and solitude were huge parts of Jesus life on Earth.


There are a lot more cases of these questions. I'm sure that I will continue to ask "or" all too often and fail to see that the answer is really "and." Still, I need to acknowledge it when I do see it.